Go west, young lumbersexual.
For the Paul Bunyan wannabe in boots and a shaggy beard, here’s some advice: Go West, young lumbersexual.
For a naturally rugged look, you can’t beat the grizzled knight of the American West: the working cowboy. Whether driving a herd of ornery steers or lifting a stray calf out of a patch of thorny green briars, riding hard over rough and ragged ground, or shouldering through a storm with just a slicker and a Stetson to turn the rain, the cowboy works hard and looks good doing it. And hey, the downtime versions of that same working gear look fine as cream gravy on a worn-smooth dance floor in the Texas Panhandle.
Hankering for that masculine, outdoorsy, do-it-all-and-come-back-for-more look? Ask a cowboy. Or better yet, ask a cowgirl.
We found a couple of good ones to help us saddle up:
Go west, young lumbersexual.
First off, notice that cowboy boots have enough backbone to stay on with no strings attached. Cowboys can’t burn daylight tying three-foot laces; they grab ’em, pull ’em on and hit the trail.
There’s the classic “cowboy” style, the “roper,” the “Stockman,” even the “buckaroo”—all with stirrup-friendly heels in varying shapes and heights. Toes range from squared off to extra pointy.
But not every boot is right for every would-be cowhand. “I would definitely recommend a ‘roper’-style heel for those who are new to boots,” says Alyssa. “They’re lower than many of the ‘riding’ styles, which are designed specifically for a stirrup.”
And avoid those spikey “cockroach killers,” says Phyllis. “Too-pointy toes are always a giveaway that you’re a dude [i.e. a city slicker], as do no scuffs or scars. If you buy a new pair of boots, you want to get them dirty and scuffed right away.”
Note: For the sake of your wallet, don’t follow that rule about scuffing up exotic boots in ostrich hide, alligator skin or pirarucu fish scales.
And a night out with your honey doing the boot scoot boogie requires—guess what—boots. “A true cowboy boot with a leather or otherwise smooth sole is designed for sliding in and out of a stirrup, so it also does a good job of sliding across the dance floor,” Alyssa says.
You can try for Texas style in a pair of slacks, but it’s like a duck in a tuxedo—it never looks right.
You can try for Texas style in a pair of slacks, but it’s like a duck in a tuxedo—it never looks right.
“Denim jeans have always served the cowboy well,” Phyllis says. They’re durable and they protect from the elements. “Wrangler and Levi Strauss are the normal brands, but there are hundreds of varieties now to choose from.”
See ’em, starch ’em, and sport ’em, is the motto, with one addendum: don’t sag ’em.
And remember to check where the hip pockets ride; some are so low on your hindquarters, going horseback with a wallet in there will leave you feeling like you squatted on your spurs.
And no high waters, please. Alyssa says the bottoms of the jeans should “stack” a little bit when you’re sitting down. If you usually wear a 32” inseam, go ahead and bump it up to a 34” for cowboy wear, since they’ll need to go over your boots—which they should always do. Never tuck them in your boots unless you want to look like a sheep in a herd of goats.
Yes, there’s a lot of pretty stitching on the boots’ front quarter, but keep it to yourself, for now.
A belt is an absolute requirement. Don’t even consider leaving the house without one. It should be leather, hopefully hand-tooled with coils, curlicues, rosettes, longhorn cattle and artful renderings of wildflowers of the Texas range. And all the better if it’s anchored by an eye-catching buckle big enough to serve steak and beans on.
Where you get that buckle is, well, about as unsettled as a jackrabbit in a horse stampede. Not everybody can win their buckle in a rodeo. “Sporting a genuine trophy buckle that someone else may have won—while some may disagree with me on this—is perfectly acceptable,” Alyssa says on her blog.
Bottom line: Retro is in, so there shouldn’t be any problem with using an old championship buckle you find in a Western shop. Think of it as a tribute to the cowboy who won it and the rodeo lifestyle’s bruises and broken bones—and your gratitude not to have any of your own.
Shirts can be pretty simple: cotton, button-down, long sleeve. Plain white can work, as can plaid. Piping? OK, just don’t go all Roy Rogers and put enough on there to knock Dale Evans off her horse. Make your dance partner cross-eyed and she’ll be Texas two-stepping on your $1,000 pirarucu boots.
“All cowboys know the Western shirt was born out of necessity,” says Phyllis. “You need long sleeves to protect you from the burning sun and a collar that can be turned up in the heat, or the cold.”
And if you’re riding, cotton is crucial. “You don’t want some high-tech fabric that won’t give if it gets wrapped around a limb. It could pull you off the horse,” she says. Cotton also breathes when it gets moist—important on the range or the dance floor.
There’s no more handsome sight than a man in a cowboy hat.
It’s simple, says Phyllis. “There’s no more handsome sight than a man in a cowboy hat.”
A good hat shop will carry any number of styles and will hand-mold your favorite crease pattern—the cattleman, Salem, tycoon, cutter, telescope, diamond, horseshoe—into the crown and the brim. Real cowboys usually wear straw in warm weather, and a felt hat—beaver or rabbit blends are best—in the cold or for formal occasions.
This is crucial: Look inside for the little bow—that’s the back of the hat. Nobody wants to wonder if you’re entering or leaving the saloon.
The original cowboy hat was meant to stand up to the elements. But along the way people realized it also looks great. A guy in a cowboy hat—and the rest of the cowboy gear—just looks ready for the howling wind, the drenching rain and the baking sun of the wild Texas prairie.
“The cowboy look is just a symbol of ruggedness,” Alyssa says. “It really gives a guy a chance to stand out among his peers who don’t have the guts to pull it off.”
You’re not really a cowboy? So what? Billy the Kid was born on New York City’s east side, about as far from the West as you can get. Think anybody tried to knock his cowboy hat off? Not more than once.
“There are lots of guys who feel like ‘cowboys at heart,’” Alyssa says. “So even if they work behind a desk all day instead of in a saddle, it’s a way to show what they identify with. Plus—and maybe most important—chicks dig it!”
Giddyup!
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